Last week was one of the hardest our family has ever faced. Our beloved dog, Malu, was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma (an aggressive cancer prominent in large breed dogs) on Thursday morning. He was only 8.5 years old. We were thrust into a whirlwind of emotions—struggling with the timing, trying to get everyone home to say goodbye, and figuring out exactly WHEN would be the right moment to let him go without causing him further pain.
Saidey, Nick and Franklin (their dog, who is Malu’s 1/2 brother) were on their way from South Carolina and Spencer was 3 hours from boarding her flight in California. She wouldn’t be home until the next morning- but we thought we had plenty of time. I was actually looking forward to our whole family loving on him all weekend. Mills had just returned from work at 6:00pm, and luckily, Duncan was working from home that day. As the early evening went on, I started to worry. He seemed uninterested in food, or water and just seemed uncomfortable. Not in pain, just uncomfortable. When Mills got home, he joined me on the floor, comforting Malu. His breaths grew further and further apart and we knew we had to FaceTime the girls. In those tender moments, we were all "together," albeit virtually—just in time to say our goodbyes. At 6:53 pm, Thursday- with one final, gentle breath, Malu left us. Just like that, he was gone. And just like that, our lives were changed forever. While none of us was ready, we are all grateful that he wasn’t in pain and went peacefully.
The grief that follows losing a pet is overwhelming. But- why does it feel so profound, perhaps even more so than losing a human? Is it because our pets can't verbalize their pain or feelings? Is it because they rely on us for their every need? Or perhaps it's the simple, pure fact that they love us unconditionally. I'm not entirely sure. What I do know is that it hurts—deeply and immeasurably.
Yet, amidst the sorrow, I can undoubtedly say it was all worth it. The pain of loss is incomparable to the immense joy and countless cherished memories we created with Malu. He was our sweet, sweet boy, and the happiness he brought into our lives is something we will always cherish.
If you have experienced the pain of losing a pet- you know that there really are no words. You know that another pet will never take the place of your beloved pet, but could, in time, help to heal your heart.
With love from my broken heart and my core, Amity 💔
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