Title: Embracing the Evolution: The Beauty of the Dynamic Shift When Your Children Become Adults
On a Wednesday afternoon in January, 27 years ago- I became a mom. I was only 23 years old- but knew that’s exactly what I was meant to do. Was I perfect? Far from it…. But I knew that I was so lucky to have her and I’d always appreciate the time spent with her. 5 years later I had my twins and while it wasn’t always easy, I never complained or wished away the time. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed all the time with my 3 kids… at every stage. I LOVED traveling for sports, getting one on one time with each one of them and taking long road trips as a family.
What I have learned over the past few years is that parenting is hard- and it gets harder. What do they say- small kids, small problems- big kids, big problems?? When you are in the middle of parenting teenagers- that time your could get your toddler to take a nap seems completely insignificant. Now, that time your kids drive a car for the first time alone, or drink too much at a party, or have a horrible breakup- THAT is when being a parent is really hard! Then, as they become adults- it starts to CHANGE. There is a SHIFT- and it’s pretty damn amazing.
It’s like a journey that unfolds in chapters. While all of the chapters are so different- one of the most enjoyable is when your children transition into adulthood. This time can become a beautiful evolution in your relationship, marked by newfound connections, mutual respect, and the joy of witnessing your children grow into independent individuals.
1. From Guidance to Friendship
As your children become adults, the nature of your relationship changes. The once important role of providing guidance and direction gradually gives way to a more equal footing. Instead of solely being the source of wisdom, you become a trusted friend, offering support and understanding as your adult children navigate the challenges of life.
2. Mutual Respect and Understanding
The shift in your relationship comes with a deeper level of mutual respect. Recognizing your adult children as individuals with their own beliefs, experiences, and aspirations fosters a richer connection. This newfound respect lays the foundation for open communication and understanding, allowing for meaningful conversations and shared insights. Sometimes we learn “too much” at this time… like “mom, remember when you thought XYZ, well THIS is what really happened”! I’m not sure if this happens because they feel more comfortable now, they are getting the guilt of the lie off their chests, or they just know they can’t get in trouble so they come clean. 🤣
3. Shared Experiences and Hobbies
This is my personal favorite part! With adulthood comes shared experiences on a more even playing field. Whether it's discussing common interests, exploring new hobbies together, or even going on joint adventures, the evolving relationship brings opportunities for shared moments that go beyond the parent-child dynamic. I got to be my daughter’s + 1 on a President’s Club work trip last year- how cool is that?! She treated ME on a trip to Mexico with her. She could have taken her boyfriend or a good friend- but she took ME! What an honor. And, we had so much fun!
4. Celebrating Achievements Together
Witnessing your children achieve milestones in their adult lives becomes a source of immense pride. From graduating college, starting careers, different career accomplishments to personal achievements, getting engaged, the joy of celebrating these moments together creates a deeper sense of connection and shared happiness.
5. Supportive Roles
While the nature of support may shift, the support itself remains a vital aspect of the relationship. As adults, your children may seek guidance, advice, or simply a listening ear. Being there for them in these supportive roles fosters a sense of security and strengthens the bond between generations. Knowing they can still turn to you in times of need is priceless.. and getting that phone call- “mom, can I ask you a question…..” also priceless.
Embrace the beauty of the HUGE shift between, being the parent of an infant, toddler, school ager, teenager, young adult to being the parent of an adult. Cultivate a genuine friendship with your adult children. Share laughter, joy, meaningful conversations, and the ability to appreciate each other's company. Create a unique bond that goes beyond the confines of traditional parent-child roles.
Enjoy them, always. ❤️
With love from my core, Amity
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