Reconnecting with 5 of my high school besties after 33 years was a rollercoaster of emotions. The months leading up to it left my mind racing……. Would they still like me? Would I still like them? Would the judge my stacks of mail on the countertops at my house? Most of them are type “A”and if you know me- I am type “Z”- or whatever is the furthest thing away from “A” 😩😩😩
Did I get everyone what they wanted/needed for drinks and eats? I was kicking myself for not putting together the welcome bags like I had planned…. So many things going through my mind.
One of the most common feelings among such reunions is anxiety. With over three decades apart, it’s not surprising that there is a fear of the unknown—wondering how much everyone has changed, how they have lived their lives, and whether the bonds we forged in youth would still hold strong. Would we mesh or repel with the life experience that we have gained? Preconceived notions about personal success, appearance, and life achievements often surface, creating a mental backdrop of expectations and potential judgments. And let’s face it- no one wants to feel judged.
Stress can accompany this anxiety. The pressure to present one's "best self" after many years may lead to a whirlwind of preparations and inner dialogues. We may even struggle with an inner conflict- asking - “is this my REAL best self or just what I WANT them to think of me”? Will we recognize each other? Probably, if no one has filtered their social media pics too much. 🙈
Will the connection be as strong as it once was, or will it be overshadowed by the years gone by?
High school memories have a peculiar way of staying vivid, making it feel almost like just yesterday. We have songs that relate to specific experiences that make them seem so much more vivid and surreal. There’s the sense that time has flown by in the blink of an eye, bringing with it both nostalgia and a bittersweet sense of lost time. Yet, the 33 years that have passed are also undeniably significant, filled with countless life experiences that have shaped us into the women that we are today.
This retreat felt a little like stepping back into a time capsule. We found ourselves reminiscing about shared memories, inside jokes, old friends, teachers and the simpler days of our youth. We remembered classmates that have passed too soon.
Conversely, much can change in 33 years. We talked about our careers, marriages, children, families, how we struggle with the fact that our parents are now aging and the struggles that brings. We talk about personal triumphs and hardships…. And we’ve all had both. Loss of parents, loss of spouses…. Loss of mutual friends….. so many losses. I think that may be what makes rekindling so special…. Because with all the loss- we found EACH OTHER again. It almost felt as if time stood still and we were together just yesterday- and in the same breath you feel each and every year that has passed.
Each one of us brings a unique story of growth, challenge, and transformation.
When we share our true, raw emotional selves with old friends, we can bridge the gap of time and remind each other of the beauty of genuine connections and true friendship.
Ultimately, this retreat provided a safe space to confront all of our emotions. It’s a chance to rediscover old friendships, create new memories, and allow the past and present to coexist harmoniously. Through tears, laughter, and heartfelt conversations, we found solace in the fact that despite the years, our bond remains unbroken.
Until next time…
With Love from my Core,
Amity ❤️
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